Military Spouses Inspire Me

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not that enthralled with celebrities.  I don't buy gossip magazines and whenever CNN is airing "news" about celeb weddings or twitter wars, I abruptly change the channel.  Maybe it's the sociology major in me coming out, but I find inspiration in all kinds of people wherever I happen to be swimming around.  Listening to their tone of voice and word selection, watching their body language, observing how they prioritize their time...these are the clues that allow their values to surface, allowing me to read between the lines and see their authentic nature.  When you listen to the clues instead of the chatter, you can feel their struggle, admire their strength, revel in their successes.

Thanks for your help
As I've said, I didn't fully understand what it would be like to have the responsibility as the Commander's "other half".  But, before I came, the teacher/researcher/learner in me asked an experienced Colonel's wife about how to be helpful to the other spouses when I got here.  The important thing she said to me was to be open about how I'm dealing with being new to this duty just like they are or have been.  My opening line was often, "My sig other is the Commander, so what does that make me?  ...Unemployed."  And I asked the spouses here for help finding a job and received it from an awesome spouse in the criminal justice field and then I helped another spouse in the same arena.

Thanks for being a role model
The same Colonel's wife and her husband were role models to me in the way they were so genuine.  They were not condescending or narcissistic as one might fear they could be.  They actually were upfront about how it was a critical time in the Colonel's career, as he had been passed over for promotion to General and didn't have much time left to see if it would ever become a reality.  You could see how his better half was toughing it out and having the attitude of "let the cards fall where they may, we'll still be ok".  He ended up not becoming a general, and retiring.  We enjoy their holiday cards, explaining about his new career and their son joining the Marines.

Another Colonel's wife, also inspired me by being a warm, caring, strategic, smart, motivated leader of her family.  Her husband was set to retire after 20 years in the military, and he was struggling with it.  In a bad way.  But she had planned well and was finishing her doctorate degree just in time to take over as bread winner.  She was extremely busy and tired-looking (doctoral thesis, while raising kids and supporting emotionally struggling husband...I can't even imagine), but when she hosted the military families for a barbeque, she was the ultimate host and genuinely was interested in what we were all going through.  She was the epitome of taking the bull by the horns, making lemonade out of lemons (her husband...not a source of envy shall I say...), and working hard to make her career aspirations come true.  Eschewing resentment or ruefulness, she appreciated the 20 year military lifestyle that allowed her to be a stay-at-home-mom, world traveler, and student, and patiently waited her turn for a dream career, all with a sense of balance and class.

Thanks for being there
Simple things can mean a lot, and I truly appreciate the sassy military wife who, no matter where she moves, she offers a standing invitation to all the military ladies to coffee at her house on a certain morning of the week.  She doesn't care about rank, age, or which military branch, she is friendly, but real to everyone.  She complains, but in a factual, funny way.  She isn't fake or pretentious or a one-upper.  She says things like, "bitches get sh*t done".  And when I vented to her about another milso (the one-upper, mom-petitive type) who had repeatedly and relentlessly offended me regarding my choice to be a DINK as I just sat there, following the if-you-can't-say-anything-nice rule..., my friend listened and then reminded me about a special place for haters.  (It's rare for me to be speechless, and rare for me to have such a thin skin, but being on the receiving end of non-stop lashing out and judgement was really a shock that I didn't see coming.)  Update:  the offensive woman had been drinking, and actually apologized a week later, to my awe and amazement.  I happily forgave her, but she then kept being publicly rude to me, so now I just keep my distance. 

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.  **my surname translates to "butterfly"

Thanks for supporting your Soldier, Sailor, Marine, Airman, Coasty, or Natty Guardsman
My Marine has been gone this week, and I emotionally ate with gluten free cupcakes.  I have been with him through month-long European workups and a surgery, but not a full deployment.  I give all the props to the spouses and significant others out there who have been through long separations, injuries, and tragedies.  My sister-in-law didn't like Air Force life, so she persuaded my brother to abandon his dream of becoming an officer and get out of the military.  So, to those of you who stay, who embrace change and instability, who are proud of your service member's dedication and achievement, who stay true to yourselves and work toward the fulfillment of your own goals, Rock on!  You inspire me.



*This post is part of Epic Friday Linky Party

Friday Flashback: My Week in a [gluten free] Nutshell

A Leg Up!  
I was surprised to receive an email from one of my fabulous Zen Doodle students stating that Hobby Lobby was looking for people to teach classes like mine.  They asked her if she'd do it and she told me about it.  I literally jumped in the car and twenty minutes later, I was booked to teach every Saturday at the Dunwoody, GA, location!  I love it when women make the effort to give one another a leg up!

I teach Zen Doodle art class every Saturday at Hobby Lobby in Dunwoody, GA!

A Couple Gigs
Although I didn't submit for gigs this week, I was called and asked to work as an extra again on Vampire Diaries (I'll post pics after it airs if I don't end up on cutting room floor) and one I haven't done before, Devious Maids, for my car and myself.  Beautiful weather, chatting with fun people, interesting sets, earning cash, what's not to like?

A Windy Day
I love to fly kites.  It's one of the few fond memories I have of quality time with my father.  He'd buy kites and take us to a park.  I also enjoy flying kites at the beach.  We sent one way up high and tied it to our beach chair at Tybee Island.  I even kept a kite in my classroom and would take it out at recess on windy days.  You'd be surprised how many kids haven't flown kites.  As a parole officer, I bought a bunch of kites at a dollar store and put them in the trunk of my work car and handed them out one day to kids wandering around doing nothing, as well as children of my parolees.  We went to the park down the street Sunday and saw a couple novel activities:  kids ascending and descending on ropes in trees and people doing Live Action Role Play, beating each other with foam swords.

Kids literally hanging around at the park

Foam sword and shields.  Live Action Role Play, aka LARP

A Bit of Sweat
I looked up a local hiking group and joined them (retirees and teachers on spring break) for a five mile, two hour, often vertical like a StairMaster, hike with a rewarding view at the top of Lake Alatoona.  It's been nice weather and I also enjoyed the drive with the convertible top down.  The pollen count has since skyrocketed here, so not sure if I'll be doing that this week!  I also jogged 4 miles at the indoor track at my gym (easier on the joints) and attended my favorite Flirty Girl class that culminates in a dance routine to "Timber".  I plan to go to the intense circuit class today (last time I swam before the class so I only made it through 45 minutes) and the swim class and weights tomorrow morning.

I read the label and find these to be gluten free.  I eat them and do not get sick.  

A Plateful of Gluten Free Goodness
My latest favorite gluten free dessert (great to bring to parties, I brought them to the clothing swap) is frozen macarons at Trader Joe's.  Just thaw 30 minutes.  Remember, real French macarons are made with almond flour, and if there is no cross-contamination or wheat flour used to dust the pans, for example, they are naturally gluten free.  So is authentic chocolate mousse, although restaurants often muck it up with wheat flour or other monstrosities, ruining it for us gfreeple.  Yes, I have attempted to make real macarons myself.  Don't ask how that turned out.  When the chef on YouTube admits it took her three tries to get them right....

A Clothing Swap...and a dress with a story
A women's social group had a clothing swap.  It rained, so the turnout wasn't big (6 people with items laid out on tables at an indoor activity room at a park).  Nobody was even near my size, but I did get a couple purses.

I donate to Goodwill regularly (all my clothes came from there as a child), so I had set aside nicer quality items.   Some dresses and gowns I used to donate to The Giving of the Gowns (before I found out they don't check military IDs and all our E-6 wives told me they regularly take gowns from there- when they are intended for the youngest, lowest-earning military women and wives so they can attend the USMC Birthday Ball every November).  I also brought name-brand handbags that, if not swapped, I would attempt to place on consignment.

The Beyonce Dress

One lady was healing from a recent tummy tuck and breast lift so she took my Beyonce dress, lol!  The Beyonce dress is a sparkly, backless number that I wore to The Montford Point Marines banquet  where, unbeknownst to me, General Amos, Commandant of the Marine Corps, was in attendance.  He does not come every year, and it was right after we arrived in Atlanta so I'd never been before, but if I had been shown the invitation I would have realized that he was giving out belated Congressional Medals to honor the first black marines who trained at a segregated boot camp with white drill instructors at Montford Point.  It was a privilege to witness the medals being placed around the necks of these men who have lived through so much.  The Silent Drill Platoon performed (and dropped a rifle again-it's extra fun when they drop one), we met General Amos and Mrs. Amos, but I will never forget what an inappropriate frock I was wearing.  I would NEVER have worn such a flashy and ostentatious number if I had seen the invite and known what the event was really about.  I was just told it was a dinner and dancing.

Commandant of the Marine Corps, General Amos

Congressional Medal Recipients

And...We're Off!

THE WAIT
As a military family, we certainly aren't accustomed to letting the grass grow under our feet.  My previous post established that we were awaiting military orders, and they were taking a long time.  My marine's replacement has known he'll be coming to Atlanta since September.  I was being pretty patient until it got to the point where my pets would have to suffer in quarantine because I wouldn't be able to meet the time required to get them to Hawaii (no rabies there, big pet process to keep it that way) or Japan or Europe if any of those places became our destination.  My marine has put Camp Pendleton as his first choice for 15 years, unsuccessfully.  For recruiting, we got to choose 5 from 18 available cities.  Neither of us wanted Buffalo or Des Moines, so he picked Seattle and Phoenix, while. I picked Chicago and Atlanta, and we both picked Ft. launder dale to be near family.  We were happy it was Atlanta, but annoyed that as a native of Ft. Launderdale he still didn't get it.  As for our current situation, my marine figured we'd find out by. Jan. or Feb.  I'm the pragmatic one who believes there are no promises in life nor in the military, so I didn't expect news until March for our move in June/July.

After mid-March came and went, I began (tongue-in-cheek) asking my marine like an excited child every night, "Did we get orders yet?"at random moments, making both of us chuckle because we know that if he had gotten them, I certainly wouldn't need to ask him to tell me.  Now, I am not keen  on receiving the notice from my marine via a distracted, life-altering, phone call where he drops a  bomb at 7 AM and then has to rush to hang up and get back to work.  Most people do it that way since it's the most intuitive and natural.  I suffered through that once (he was randomly accepted to a school to which he did not apply, which uprooted him a year or two early from 29 Palms several  months after we had met in CA.  He found out when a Colonel shook his hand randomly while passing in a hallway to congratulate him on his acceptance, much to my marine's shock) and prefer to never have it happen like that again, where I'm left to get through the longest day ever, carbonated                   thoughts bubbling up and me trying to tamp them down until we get home and can pop the cork      together.

THE. REVEAL
So, I am not working, since often the timing of my employment 'under-laps' (I try to avoid overlaps!) with our moves.  I have been booking gigs as an extra on Vampire Diaries and teaching an art class to pay for a fancy gym  membership (heated pools in & outside, sauna,jacuzzi, new equipment, classes  galore) and I love it.   Since I make it a point to not let my life revolve around my marine's work hours (no clock-watching, texting when will u b home? Eta?), I was coming home from the gym one night and I opened the front door to darkness, the odor of char/smoke, and Dr.Dre's "California Love"  blaring.  Then, I turned and saw my marine standing next to the dining room table (with lit candles atop gluten free cupcakes from Gluten Free Cutie) with the most enormous, dazzling smile, arms outstretched, wearing a t-shirt with the California state flag on it.  Never one to make assumptions, I broke through the noise of the music to ask if it was 29 Palms (desert, where he was when we met) or Camp Pendleton (beach, his perennial first choice that he never has gotten). His response was to                                                             make a surfing motion and say, "Babe, if it was 29 (Palms), I'd be blowing sand in your face with a hot blow dryer right now."  We hugged and his smile hasn't faded since.  He is on Cloud 9.

MY THOUGHTS
 I'd have preferred Hawaii or Europe (our 2nd and 3rd choices since my choice of Atlanta won out last time so I let him pick the first spot), but am ecstatic that he finally got his dream job in his dream locale.  Having resided in SoCal for 13 years, I was not in a hurry to go back just yet.  I own a home in California, but it's too far from the military base for us to live in it.  Plus, I'm in this life for the adventure of it.  That said, even after all that time, I have never lived by the beach nor been north of San Francisco in that giant, banana-shaped state! So, the relief of not getting Camp Lejeune (North Carolina military town where I probably would have to live in Charleston to keep my sanity, forcing my marine to drive 4 hours to visit me on weekends) coupled with his elation and beach living has  me brimming with excitement for our next  chapter.  Stay tuned...                                                            

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