Friday Flashback: My Week in a [gluten free] Nutshell

A Leg Up!  
I was surprised to receive an email from one of my fabulous Zen Doodle students stating that Hobby Lobby was looking for people to teach classes like mine.  They asked her if she'd do it and she told me about it.  I literally jumped in the car and twenty minutes later, I was booked to teach every Saturday at the Dunwoody, GA, location!  I love it when women make the effort to give one another a leg up!

I teach Zen Doodle art class every Saturday at Hobby Lobby in Dunwoody, GA!

A Couple Gigs
Although I didn't submit for gigs this week, I was called and asked to work as an extra again on Vampire Diaries (I'll post pics after it airs if I don't end up on cutting room floor) and one I haven't done before, Devious Maids, for my car and myself.  Beautiful weather, chatting with fun people, interesting sets, earning cash, what's not to like?

A Windy Day
I love to fly kites.  It's one of the few fond memories I have of quality time with my father.  He'd buy kites and take us to a park.  I also enjoy flying kites at the beach.  We sent one way up high and tied it to our beach chair at Tybee Island.  I even kept a kite in my classroom and would take it out at recess on windy days.  You'd be surprised how many kids haven't flown kites.  As a parole officer, I bought a bunch of kites at a dollar store and put them in the trunk of my work car and handed them out one day to kids wandering around doing nothing, as well as children of my parolees.  We went to the park down the street Sunday and saw a couple novel activities:  kids ascending and descending on ropes in trees and people doing Live Action Role Play, beating each other with foam swords.

Kids literally hanging around at the park

Foam sword and shields.  Live Action Role Play, aka LARP

A Bit of Sweat
I looked up a local hiking group and joined them (retirees and teachers on spring break) for a five mile, two hour, often vertical like a StairMaster, hike with a rewarding view at the top of Lake Alatoona.  It's been nice weather and I also enjoyed the drive with the convertible top down.  The pollen count has since skyrocketed here, so not sure if I'll be doing that this week!  I also jogged 4 miles at the indoor track at my gym (easier on the joints) and attended my favorite Flirty Girl class that culminates in a dance routine to "Timber".  I plan to go to the intense circuit class today (last time I swam before the class so I only made it through 45 minutes) and the swim class and weights tomorrow morning.

I read the label and find these to be gluten free.  I eat them and do not get sick.  

A Plateful of Gluten Free Goodness
My latest favorite gluten free dessert (great to bring to parties, I brought them to the clothing swap) is frozen macarons at Trader Joe's.  Just thaw 30 minutes.  Remember, real French macarons are made with almond flour, and if there is no cross-contamination or wheat flour used to dust the pans, for example, they are naturally gluten free.  So is authentic chocolate mousse, although restaurants often muck it up with wheat flour or other monstrosities, ruining it for us gfreeple.  Yes, I have attempted to make real macarons myself.  Don't ask how that turned out.  When the chef on YouTube admits it took her three tries to get them right....

A Clothing Swap...and a dress with a story
A women's social group had a clothing swap.  It rained, so the turnout wasn't big (6 people with items laid out on tables at an indoor activity room at a park).  Nobody was even near my size, but I did get a couple purses.

I donate to Goodwill regularly (all my clothes came from there as a child), so I had set aside nicer quality items.   Some dresses and gowns I used to donate to The Giving of the Gowns (before I found out they don't check military IDs and all our E-6 wives told me they regularly take gowns from there- when they are intended for the youngest, lowest-earning military women and wives so they can attend the USMC Birthday Ball every November).  I also brought name-brand handbags that, if not swapped, I would attempt to place on consignment.

The Beyonce Dress

One lady was healing from a recent tummy tuck and breast lift so she took my Beyonce dress, lol!  The Beyonce dress is a sparkly, backless number that I wore to The Montford Point Marines banquet  where, unbeknownst to me, General Amos, Commandant of the Marine Corps, was in attendance.  He does not come every year, and it was right after we arrived in Atlanta so I'd never been before, but if I had been shown the invitation I would have realized that he was giving out belated Congressional Medals to honor the first black marines who trained at a segregated boot camp with white drill instructors at Montford Point.  It was a privilege to witness the medals being placed around the necks of these men who have lived through so much.  The Silent Drill Platoon performed (and dropped a rifle again-it's extra fun when they drop one), we met General Amos and Mrs. Amos, but I will never forget what an inappropriate frock I was wearing.  I would NEVER have worn such a flashy and ostentatious number if I had seen the invite and known what the event was really about.  I was just told it was a dinner and dancing.

Commandant of the Marine Corps, General Amos

Congressional Medal Recipients

How I Found Online Dating Success, Gluten Free!

Most of the time, I reveled in the single life.  I did have times where I'd wished I'd stayed home (click here for my list of dating don'ts), but that still happens even now that I'm contentedly coupled...).

Anyway, in my late 20's, a coworker who'd enjoyed her experience talked me into trying online dating.  I signed up for a three month membership and...it went better than anticipated.   I just had a knack for it.  Attribute it to inbred Midwestern pragmatism (I was seeking less of a 'soul mate', more of a quality companion), enhanced by innate Scorpio(n) skepticism (weeded out the exaggerators), a highly accurate "gut feeling" for gauging people (law enforcement trait, helped weed out the scaries and players), and the art of UNDERSELLING oneself (I posted work photos, for example, and showed up prettier).

Dating online (I continued after the 3 months) resulted in 3 relationships lasting 9+ months (including the current 4.5 years and counting), lots of fun experiences, and several rewarding friendships.  When people ask how my beau and I met, I'm proud to say I shopped for him online.  In more formal settings, however, I just skip to discussing the casino lounge (our first date venue).

Get over your discomfort with online dating.

Here are the Online Dating Strategies that paid off for me:

---> Don't fall for the fakes/Don't go for the gimmicks:  As with infomercial ads, this goes for dating
For example, when you are in the thumbnail picture view, scrolling through Man-a-palooza, 

ignore any photos that are: 

• black and white or artistic photos (the person isn't comfortable with his own self and feels the need to embellish), or they are using a REALLY outdated photo.
• wearing sunglasses over eyes (on a photo that is advertising you for a relationship, hiding the eyes is a sign of dishonesty-especially mirrored lenses- a guy pal of mine divulged to me that he wore them so women wouldn't see that he was oogling things he shouldn't be)
• headshots only- if there is more than one photo, and none show the whole body (in clothes, of course), the person is likely being dishonest about their physical specifications.  A friend of mine showed up for a date where the man had only a photo of him in a car, and he turned out to be obese.  Even if he's a Nascar driver, he should show helmet to racing boot.
• wearing a hat- often used to conceal baldness...or toilet seat hair.  I actually like bald on some men.  There was a time where I took a risk on a hat-wearer and when we spoke by phone he said he was not bald.  When he showed up at the comedy club, luckily he walked up to me, because I never would've recognized him- he was a redhead!  If only he knew, he was selling himself short- I have an affinity for Ginger Men.
• Childish- wearing hats on backwards or drunken photos with a bunch of guys or riding snowmobiles, dirt bikes, skateboards, or shopping carts, this guy is immature
• Professionally Done pics:  superficial, self-absorbed likely
• Photo overload- too many pics can signal a narcissist.  Same goes for men tanned, waxed, and posing in tight shorts by the pool- yes, these are out there
• with hot women- he's either a playboy or wants to be seen as one, or doesn't know how to use the cropping tool, in which case, keep on scrollin!

Other Man-shopping tips (as far as EVALUATING PROFILES- of those who email/message you, and of those you are considering emailing/messaging):

Some of these were automatic dealbreakers for me, others I'd peruse the profile, and keep track of "strikes" on my hand.  3 strikes, and the profile was a no-go.

•  If (in his "seeking" age checklist) he has 18+ picked, and you are 25 +, you are too much woman for him.  Any man who's dating 18 year-olds isn't looking for conversation or a relationship.
• If he left most of the profile areas blank.  He's not serious about finding the right person.
• If his profile is very negative, stating everything he does not want.  
• If he only talks about what he is like and not what he wants, or vice versa.
• over-generalities- likes to walk on beach and travel, but lists no specifics.  

Emailing tips:

• Returning an email, keep it short, answer questions he asked in a mildly fun or flirtatious manner, and ask questions back.  Only respond if you are interested.
• Emailing prospects you are drawn to:  I kept a few cute emails on file and customized them with one question asking about something on the dude's profile to make it personal.  The cute emails were on themes that men "get": baseball, poker, fishing, etc.  I'm a rookie at this... I decided to pitch you an email since your stats...check out my rookie card and see if you are interested in making this a ballgame.  In the subject line:  Hey there, sailor- or- Howdy, Slim- or- Irish Eyes a smilin'-or- from the Girl next door (if he lived in your same city).  Spend time on it the first couple times, then just copy them to a file for future reuse.  Don't talk about yourself much.
• Keep emails light, you can ask delving questions on the phone or in-person, but DO ask clarifying questions related to subjective buzz words in their profile.  A big one is "laid-back".  They all say that, but believe me, there is a wide range of laid-backedness!!  Ask specifics.  Or if they like to Travel- where and when was your last trip?  
• If the person writes in all lowercase letters or doesn't capitalize the pronoun I, or  types in all caps, or doesn't use punctuation, or misspells words, then take these as signs of immaturity or education level.  If the tone is negative or sexual or there is no clue that he's read you're profile, those are all very meaningful bits of info.  Dating is like detective work, you're always reading clues.
• If the person doesn't respond, leave it alone.  Move on.  Don't take it personally.  Acknowledge that it sucks, attribute it to something benign like he went back to his baby mama or he thinks you live in the town by the rehab place he went to (bad memories), or he is busy w Fantasy Football. Scroll on.
• If you feel like sending a rejection email, rather than just deleting an undesirable, keep it positive.  ie.  Thanks for the email, but you're not in my age range.  Best of luck.

--->Meet the person.  In person! My rule is up to 4 emails/brief messaging stints, then a phone call.  I'd say roughly half of the people that I talked with by phone "made it" to the meet-face2face-level.  (I didn't feel comfortable with the instant messaging deal.  I think it could rush things.)
Don't be like my neighbor, Wendy (who looks similar to Wendy Williams, actually), who was "pen pals" for months with a guy whom she never ended up meeting (big surprise) or Jenny (single mom) who was on Christian single parent dating site where, after months of time and no face-to-face contact, a guy asked her to send her money.   This stuff never happened to me, because I have a strong antennae for red flags.
**Gluten free people:  bring snacks, use apps to scope gf restaurants in the area (and have a few go-to's at-the-ready in case someone asks for a suggestion), and explain it in a concise but not too intense or gross way when the topic naturally arises.  You only have to worry about how accommodating the person is and how strong of an emphasis you need to place on it if you want to kiss them.  If they are truly interested in you, they will have googled it by the second date, which is impressive.

 Here are phone tips:

• Some people have an aversion to giving out their phone numbers.  I usually emailed my # with a friendly and cute disclaimer that by calling the number the person was agreeing to use it respectfully and not leave messages with colorful language, etc.  But, really, if you only answer calls from contacts with names that come up, why be afraid?  If the person calls and leaves a voicemail, you don't have to listen to it.  I really only had one person leave a mean message, and as soon as it began, I deleted it, and then I created the disclaimer idea.  
• Establish some questions that you may gain useful insight.  Avoid questions that only have one socially acceptable answer (this is what annoyed me about eharmony on the free weekends I used- what's most important in your life? the answer was always God or family- and that didn't ).  Are you honest?  Nobody ever says no.  
• Good questions to ask:  Tell me about your last vacation?  What did you do for your mom on Mother's Day/bday/holiday?  Have you cheated? (Are you surprised to hear that some people do say yes to that one? Informative!)  What did you do last weekend?  Have you ever been arrested?  What did you learn from your divorce?  In your group of friends, which guy are you?  How do you celebrate Halloween/last year/examples....
• Ask questions to clarify details in their profile- Here's a big tip--language is very subjective!  Especially when men and women are often planets apart as far as perspectives go.  There are very popular phrases (seen over and over and over) used to describe a wide range of people. (Laid back, no more drama, spontaneous- often are attributes people assign themselves, but in many cases it's just wishful thinking.  A guy I met who was deathly afraid of fireworks with an anal-retentive streak called himself laid back).  Consider the word "travel":  'Travel' to one person may be an elaborately planned, expensive trip hiking in Asia for two weeks; for another person 'travel' may bring to mind a three hour drive to Vegas for the weekend, sitting in a casino--so ask when and where was their last vacation?  What was their favorite vacay?  More probing questions about family (almost everyone says they are close to their family- what is 'close' to them? gift-giving, daily calls, weekly visits, family trips- how did their family respond to their last girlfriend?), and drinking- they almost all say they drink a couple times a week, but I found that it was more like four or five times a week- Fri. and Sat. night, Sun. for the game, and Tues. night margaritas at Taco Tuesday with colleagues.  Another one- nobody says they are dishonest, but give scenarios- would you return a wallet with cash?  A watch you find at the gym?  I've gotten interesting answers on these.  

• Note the vocabulary, the tone, the mood, and the amount of talking vs listening the person does.  Personally, I didn't like it if the person tried to call me pet names on the first call.
• Decide whether or not you are still interested in meeting the prospect- If the wiseguy crosses appropriate boundaries on the phone, count him out.  I had someone ask me my bra size, ask me to send more pictures via cell phone, and one guy shouted a greeting at me on the phone like fraternity boy...all of which were dealbreakers for me.  Another bad omen, looking back, was if they were adamant and unwilling to be swayed about where to meet.  Control freak.
• If you ARE interested in meeting, before hanging up, set a meeting up for the following week.  If they aren't available, then cross them off the list.  The great thing about the one week, then meet! timeline is that you haven't invested much time, so it's easy to cross them off and scroll on!

  

  Don't misrepresent yourself.  Use current photos.  Undersell and over-deliver.

Here are first meeting tips:

• Offer to go to an event- it's more fun than a coffee shop, and more "worth the PRETTY" (effort toward getting dressed up and make-up, hair, etc.) since you want to look a bit nicer than you do straight from work.
• Choose a weekend DAYtime or a weeknight (not a weekend night).  
• Drive separately, let a friend know where you're going and whom you're meeting, and generally keep safety in mind.  There are apps for these tasks.
•  Frankly, the first date venues that led to my 3 relationships were:  county fair, P.F. Chang's (gluten free), and a local classy casino lounge.  I generally pick things I want to do anyway-not letting dating cramp my style.  Comedy shows were also a fave, you talk in line but not during the show.
• Don't use people.  Offer to go dutch, or if the guy obviously makes a significant amount more than you do, offer to pay the tip.  Don't say, "So are you buying me another drink, or what?"  Yes, I heard that asked before.
• Don't invest too much...time, effort, creativity.  Figure out a standard you are comfortable with.
• Keep the mindframe that the woman is the one to be pursued (I'm sure there are successful women huntresses out there, but I wouldn't advise it).
• Be confident.  Wear something that you feel good in, play your "game-day"anthem en route to the date, or fake it 'til u make it, if need be, by chanting mantras like Serena Williams', "I am the Bomb dot com!"
• Don't be weary of awkwardness.  Make light of it.  Smile.  
• Anything that makes you feel weird, just use:

The golden phrase of dating:

                                                         "I'm not comfortable with that."                                                        

In my experience, there is no way for a man to manipulate or disobey this sentence.  It is impenetrable.  I usually say it in a pleasant tone with a smile that conveys:  we don't have to ruin the evening over this, and just because other women have conceded, doesn't mean I'm going to.  You're not used to me, I'm not used to you, but I'm setting the boundaries here, because I am the woman.

Let's practice:

HIM:  "Let me walk you to your car."  HER:   I'm not comfortable with that.
           "Follow me to my place."                       I'm not comfortable with that.
          "Sit closer to me."                                    I'm not comfortable with that.
 "Not comfortable with that? Why not?"            I'm just not comfortable with that.

If someone has a thick skull, just employ the broken record technique.  And obviously, if the person is aggressive or you don't want to be there, just leave.

Benefits of dating online:

I was young and cute living in a man-dense population and met plenty of men at the post office, in the grocery store, or at the car wash.  However, there are many reasons why I preferred online dating.  

• Variety:  First, the men I was meeting were not always professionals.  I tend to draw blue collar types, and I like am attracted to them.  But I learned that no matter how much they swore that it didn't matter that we were different as far as higher education, it always ended up bothering them, manifesting in them enrolling in a night school program (meaning they'll be more stressed, have less time and money, and hanging out with nineteen year-olds).  Later, after I'd left, I'd find out they were dating someone less educated, and hence dropped their community college endeavors.
• Also along the variety vein, it's easier to review your "past" patterns (ask your friends) and intentionally go in a new direction.  Set a goal to try out people against your regular "type" while still avoiding red flags.  
• Quantity:  When things don't work out with someone, it's a great distraction to check your online dating stuff to see what's going on in there!  Easier to move on mentally!  Less emotional recovery time!
• When you date people on reputable sites (typically the ones that charge a fee), you will find people who are experienced daters, who won't make faux-pas or waste your time or be rude when they see incompatibility.
• Scope it out....You can log in as the opposite sex and fill out the criteria that describe you and look over your competition.  This can also help you modify your profile if necessary (ie. if everyone on there is skinnier than you, then you might need to change from "average" to "a few extra pounds")
• Baggage:  I found most of the "vitals" were completely true:  # of kids, education, job, etc. as listed on the profiles.  The only time I unwittingly dated someone who was still married, was meeting someone off-line, in person, at Wendy's karaoke birthday party.  I found that men exaggerated their height and income, while they told me that women exaggerated their looks and weight.  The men always seemed so relieved when they saw me, and almost always exclaimed, "You look way better than your picture!".  Under-sell and Over-deliver!  While the men usually looked like their photos, and in three cases looked FAR better than their photos.  Only once was I extremely dismayed regarding appearance, as noted elsewhere in this post.

Be yourself:  aka the "don't punk someone" rule (from the old Mtv show, Punk'd).  Know yourself, and know the difference between trying new experiences and "morphing" into something you are not in a (often subconscious, unintentional, but desperate) effort to reel someone in for the long haul.
  Example: if you don't like sports, say so.
I played softball and basketball in high school.  But I also played violin.  I grew up with sports-crazed brothers.  I watch football, but only the Bears, and only the second half.  And I prefer to DVR it and fast-forward through the commercials, penalties, and replays.  I enjoy attending baseball games on summer nights, but won't watch on TV.
My current boyfriend is a BIG sports fan.  Let me clarify...without much effort, he displaced the year-long reining #1 ranked  sports trivia CHAMPION at Buffalo Wild Wings, triumphing through the multiple categories: tennis, golf, Nascar, Olympics, etc. on his first attempt.  He watches every sport on tv: marathon running, rugby, curling, swimming.  If it's not sports, he's watching old action movies on cable.  I was honest with him and didn't "overplay" my interest in sports , so he DVR's most sports now and watches it when I'm gone or asleep.  BUT, sports doesn't dictate our Sundays or prohibit us from attending other events or being outside on a beautiful day.  Why?  Because he wouldn't be my boyfriend if it did.  We wouldn't be compatible enough.
Don't "tell yourself" or rationalize that you are "trying out new interests" or "compromising", when you are really pretending to like things that he likes.  And, don't hide things you like.  You don't have to have the exact same interests.  You want him to like you for you, and the way you spend your time together doesn't have to revolve around your divergent interests.  Refer to the movie, Runaway Bride, if necessary.

In sum, open your mind, date freely (no checklists), and have fun!  Feel free to comment if you have questions about how to handle a situation you have encountered.  I also plan on offering online dating profile evaluations with recommendations if you want my opinion.   Enjoy your dates, look for the best qualities in each person and ignore the bad ones to get through the date without misery, but hold out for the best for  continued dating.  Online, BABY!

The Intentional Life Project...2014 Goals and Progress

Here are New Year's Resolutions from the past.  Sometimes I add on later.  Some never get checked off.

In college I learned a lot from an assessment on StrengthsQuest and discovered that I have a strength in planning for the future.  It was eye-opening to my (ignorant, young) self that people who were not planners were NOT LAZY, they were just stronger in and more oriented toward "present" or "past" tasks, ideas, hobbies, interests, ways of thinking.  Like many people of the planning persuasion, I have fairly religiously made annual goals/resolutions each year and revisited them at the end of the year.  (See above.)  My significant other is not a natural planner, but reluctantly joined my tradition a few years ago, and now HE is excited to revisit them and reminds ME to revisit them every SIX months, instead of annually!

Although it's not right on time (you can't wait until January to start everything!), I've decided to meld my goals for this year into the Intentional Life Project.  Linking up with Bre,  Ginny, Erica , Emily, and Jacqueline, who are also updating their progress and tips for this project.

===> JANUARY GOALS:  (FAMILY)

• Visit mother (out-of-state, same coast) since we'll move across country soon.
• Take vitamins and use my Vitamix to make and drink smoothies more regularly.  My mother always reminds me to take vitamins.  My Vitamix recipe photos go viral on Pinterest.

 ===> PROGRESS:  I visited my mother for the longest ever! 10 Days!  It's rare that she was between jobs and had time to hang out, and my stepdad (who has a serious illness) was feeling well and in good spirits, so the trip was better than I could have hoped for.  I was nervous about being a polite houseguest for so long, since my stepdad has a hard time dealing with company, my gluten free diet makes eating a bit difficult, and my mother can treat me like a child at times.  

My boyfriend sent me with a gift:  a box of cards he wrote in...one for each of the 10 days I was gone.

Before I left, my marine surprised me with a gift to open when I got to my mom's.  It was a box of greeting cards, one for me to open each day, with greetings and well-wishes and motivating words written inside from him and our furbabies.  It was very romantic and sweet (and extra special, since this type of thoughtfulness is not a habit of his, with all due respect, remember- he's not a planner)!  

***Karma?***After my divorce, when I was learning how to be a girlfriend again, I sent a card a day to my new boyfriend (at the time) while I was out-of-town for the holidays and when I got back, the jerk rudely, passive-aggressively, and purposely made a show (in front of me) of begrudgingly retrieving a bunch of them, unopened, out of the mailbox to illustrate how little he thought of the gesture.  At the time, it made me feel like he viewed me as desperate and trying too hard (hey, I was trying to correct the mistakes from my divorce and give out more attention).  Now, I feel redeemed!  I enjoyed receiving the cards from my CURRENT and BEST boyfriend, and have kept them in the box on my dresser ever since.

Regarding the vitamins and smoothies, I'd say I've been doing smoothies all week, biweekly.  Vitamins,  about every-other-day, which is an improvement.

===> FEBRUARY GOALS (Intentional Life Project monthly focus of Health):  

• Learn to speak some Norwegian. (I'm a Viking by heritage.  Puts some pieces into place, doesn't it?)  Keeping my mind active and healthy, always learning new things. Challenging new things!
• Eat healthier and increase workouts to 4 times per week.

===> PROGRESS:

• In January, I downloaded a Norwegian Language App and have been using it.

In March, I began Norwegian lessons in person.  He is pleased with my progress! Greit!

Norwegian woman.  Viking.  Vikings show.

• As of March, I am working out 5x per week.  I began working as an "extra" on Vampire Diaries to pay for a new "fancy" gym from our "has seen better days" crossfit gym.  I have been doing a 5k weekly, taking a swim class (water resistance!) and also tried new classes:  Sh'Bam!, Le Barre, and Kardio Funk.

===> MARCH GOALS (Intentional Life Project monthly focus of Money):  

• Earn $ by teaching a Zen Doodle class at a nearby spiritual center seeking instructors.
• Research expected expenses for our move to California this summer and discuss a "rough" budget with my marine.  
• Save the tax returns.

===> PROGRESS:

• I prepared for and taught the class.  Only a couple people turned up, but it was fun.  I probably will change the topic if I do it again so the price can be more attractive to people.  It'd be easier if I didn't have to give half my earnings to the center as well.  I have not been paid yet.
• My Leatherneck and I  had a "fro-yo" date and wrote the budget on a napkin.  It was fun.
• Saved the tax returns.  

And...We're Off!

THE WAIT
As a military family, we certainly aren't accustomed to letting the grass grow under our feet.  My previous post established that we were awaiting military orders, and they were taking a long time.  My marine's replacement has known he'll be coming to Atlanta since September.  I was being pretty patient until it got to the point where my pets would have to suffer in quarantine because I wouldn't be able to meet the time required to get them to Hawaii (no rabies there, big pet process to keep it that way) or Japan or Europe if any of those places became our destination.  My marine has put Camp Pendleton as his first choice for 15 years, unsuccessfully.  For recruiting, we got to choose 5 from 18 available cities.  Neither of us wanted Buffalo or Des Moines, so he picked Seattle and Phoenix, while. I picked Chicago and Atlanta, and we both picked Ft. launder dale to be near family.  We were happy it was Atlanta, but annoyed that as a native of Ft. Launderdale he still didn't get it.  As for our current situation, my marine figured we'd find out by. Jan. or Feb.  I'm the pragmatic one who believes there are no promises in life nor in the military, so I didn't expect news until March for our move in June/July.

After mid-March came and went, I began (tongue-in-cheek) asking my marine like an excited child every night, "Did we get orders yet?"at random moments, making both of us chuckle because we know that if he had gotten them, I certainly wouldn't need to ask him to tell me.  Now, I am not keen  on receiving the notice from my marine via a distracted, life-altering, phone call where he drops a  bomb at 7 AM and then has to rush to hang up and get back to work.  Most people do it that way since it's the most intuitive and natural.  I suffered through that once (he was randomly accepted to a school to which he did not apply, which uprooted him a year or two early from 29 Palms several  months after we had met in CA.  He found out when a Colonel shook his hand randomly while passing in a hallway to congratulate him on his acceptance, much to my marine's shock) and prefer to never have it happen like that again, where I'm left to get through the longest day ever, carbonated                   thoughts bubbling up and me trying to tamp them down until we get home and can pop the cork      together.

THE. REVEAL
So, I am not working, since often the timing of my employment 'under-laps' (I try to avoid overlaps!) with our moves.  I have been booking gigs as an extra on Vampire Diaries and teaching an art class to pay for a fancy gym  membership (heated pools in & outside, sauna,jacuzzi, new equipment, classes  galore) and I love it.   Since I make it a point to not let my life revolve around my marine's work hours (no clock-watching, texting when will u b home? Eta?), I was coming home from the gym one night and I opened the front door to darkness, the odor of char/smoke, and Dr.Dre's "California Love"  blaring.  Then, I turned and saw my marine standing next to the dining room table (with lit candles atop gluten free cupcakes from Gluten Free Cutie) with the most enormous, dazzling smile, arms outstretched, wearing a t-shirt with the California state flag on it.  Never one to make assumptions, I broke through the noise of the music to ask if it was 29 Palms (desert, where he was when we met) or Camp Pendleton (beach, his perennial first choice that he never has gotten). His response was to                                                             make a surfing motion and say, "Babe, if it was 29 (Palms), I'd be blowing sand in your face with a hot blow dryer right now."  We hugged and his smile hasn't faded since.  He is on Cloud 9.

MY THOUGHTS
 I'd have preferred Hawaii or Europe (our 2nd and 3rd choices since my choice of Atlanta won out last time so I let him pick the first spot), but am ecstatic that he finally got his dream job in his dream locale.  Having resided in SoCal for 13 years, I was not in a hurry to go back just yet.  I own a home in California, but it's too far from the military base for us to live in it.  Plus, I'm in this life for the adventure of it.  That said, even after all that time, I have never lived by the beach nor been north of San Francisco in that giant, banana-shaped state! So, the relief of not getting Camp Lejeune (North Carolina military town where I probably would have to live in Charleston to keep my sanity, forcing my marine to drive 4 hours to visit me on weekends) coupled with his elation and beach living has  me brimming with excitement for our next  chapter.  Stay tuned...                                                            

Add caption

• 

Life...On Pause

Many people sum up military life with the phrase "hurry up, then wait".  After over 4 years of military life, I agree. We are on the last few months of his 36 month B-billet (random job in between deployments/real job assignment).  This means, my marine, who is trained as an infantry officer, was selected by a board of Colonels (and Generals?) to command the Recruiting Station in Georgia for the Marine Corps.  

From billboards to medical processing to the boot camp bus, my marine is in charge of 15 recruiter stations for most of the state of Georgia.  Over 100 marines and over 900 kids waiting to get into the USMC are his responsibility.  His boss is in another state, so the buck stops with him.  While he loves teaching his recruiters how to give presentations to classes of high school kids, giving speeches himself at Glazier Football Coaches Clinics and H.S. Principal Conferences on Leadership and Ethics,

The U.S. Marine Corps is renowned for its leadership and organizational strategies.  This is why my marine has met with Atlanta's Mayor Reed as well as Glazier Football Coaches clinics (!shameless! brag alert:  my marine has been rated #2 speaker in the nation at these clinics, just behind SF 49ers coach Jim Harbough).  He has also been invited to speak at many school and community events, especially around Veteran's Day.

and just helping his wo/men make their mission and fulfill the dreams of young people toward becoming marines and young leaders, his heart belongs in the field/the fleet, training a battalion for deployment or preparing humanitarian missions for disaster relief across the globe.  It kills him to think that the leathernecks he trained are deployed without him.  Marines don't want to be "sitting on the bench", they want to be "in the mix", using their skills and doing what they do best. 

 For more on the often asked question, "Why do they like and want to deploy?" watch Battleground Afghanistan (my grunt would be equivalent to the guy who never sleeps on there, the Captain, since he hasn't deployed as a Major yet) and read the book No Easy Day.  That book is about the Seals, but the writer conveys the attitude about yearning to deploy to a tee.  If you watch Army Wives, as I'm often asked, my equivalent would be closest to Denise, although TV moves their careers much faster, so we are a rank or two below where they were, last I checked.

My marine is what is lovingly and proudly known as a "grunt" in the Corps.  Uber-smart, National Merit Scholars, who earned full college scholarships have a plethora of career opportunities open to them.  But, even as a child, he was often wearing military clothing and running around the woods in Florida with a fake rifle planning battles.  His mother has a Mother's Day mug made by him in 3rd grade that has tanks and big explosions drawn all over it.  His mother was a teacher and his father an artist, so being a marine seemed to have come out of nowhere.  We now know it was his calling.  As an only child, the marines are his true brothers.  He is a charismatic, natural born leader.  I can't imagine him ever working in a cubicle.

So, while recruiting isn't any grunt's first choice of duty station (the 2011 Military Spouse of the Year proclaimed Recruiting Duty as far worse than 4 deployments due to the stress and 70+ hour work weeks), we have made the best of it, and enjoyed living more of a "civilian life", away from military installations.  We have explored and completed a bucket list of activities for the state of Georgia, from hiking the Appalachian Trail, to visiting Martin Luther King's church.  Now, we are ready to say, "Bye, y'all"!

Image courtesy of DigitalArt at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So, we will move in a few months.  And the destination is yet "unknown".  We submitted our geographical preferences.  Any day now, he will come home from work with a present for me to open.  Inside will be some token or trinket symbolic of our next duty station.  It will be our 4th move in 6 years.  Then the pause button will be lifted and a frantic house-hunting, budgeting, and packing mission will begin.  We are on this adventure together.  I had my dream career as a teacher for 13 years.  I'm happy and proud to support him in his 15th year of his dream career.

Marine Life, Military Life

Hello, stranger!

Just to update my gluten free followers:  I feel that I have already blogged about the integral part of my gluten free journey with celiac disease (blogs since '06).  I still avidly post (gluten free) restaurant reviews on the Find Me Gluten Free App and on Twitter!  

My current focus is on my life's adventure with My Marine (grunt)(see new blog page here), as well as traveling, crafting, exploring nature, meeting new people/cultures, and philanthropy.  Being a celiac (8 years dx), a teacher (13 years), and a law enforcement officer (2 years) will always be a part of me.  Embrace all the sides of you, too!  And, as always:  Live freely, gluten freely, y'all!

Gluten Free Thanksgiving Recipes, Links, and Pictures

My mom and Seth's mom on dish duty (we don't let them cook), and my sis-in-law who is an amazing cook!

My mom's plate- she only took a small amount of bread at first, leery of gf breads, but she loved the Against the Grain Baguettes, so she ended up eating more of it!  I used Seth's grandma's china and bought gold chargers.

Me.  Cooking.  In pajamas.  As an active-duty military family, we rent this house, so disregard the ugly cabinets and appliances.  The granite counters are nice, tho! 

                                          

This WAS  my second time hosting a gluten free Thanksgiving.  I've had the luxury of two other gluten free Thanksgivings hosted by my mother (when it was just she & I), and by my best friend (who also made vegetarian options for another guest, so I wasn't the only one requiring intensive care in food prep).

Here are "professional" Turkey Day recipes from Living Without Magazine.

This is what I planned on preparing for Turkey Day, some updates added in from AFTERward:

• Gluten Free Turkey (remember some poultry is injected with gluten containing flavorings/broths). BEST GLUTEN FREE TURKEY: Brined turkey from Trader Joe's. SUPER JUICY, even the gluten-eaters loved it.  I've tried Shelton's before, but it didn't knock my socks off.  Other gf options listed in an old copy of Living Without magazine show Aaron's Gourmet, Empire Kosher, Honeysuckle White, Jennie-O, Norbest, Organic Prairie, Perdue, and Shady Brook Farms.  **Remember NOT to stuff the turkey.  Martha Stewart doesn't recommend it (due to bacteria from poultry), and my mother insisted we do it with gf stuffing once, and it was so mushy we had to throw it out.  Obviously, if you are also having gluten-full stuffing, do not put it in the turkey!
• Gluten Free Stuffing - **The KEY is to TOAST the gluten free bread in the OVEN before you make it and to NOT stuff it in the bird (sog city).  The BEST gluten free STUFFING EVER is Emeril's simple recipe link here with Against the Grain Baguettes toasted in oven. I'm adding more bacon this year.  I've tried others: cornbread stuffing (my bff made it superbly one year) or the new recipe, here, that I got from the gluten free expo from Against the Grain.  Click here for Enjoy Life's gluten free recipes for pie crust made from smashed cookies, stuffing, etc.  Remember, many people find cooking the stuffing in the crock pot keeps it moist, but I've never tried it.  Click here for more stuffing recipes.
• Cranberry Sauce- I'm a purist- no chutneys, no orange zest.  Just the original sauce, naturally gf!
• Bread- Leaning toward Against the Grain, but may choose Schar rolls or make cornbread-- I love Sylvan Border Farm Classic Dark Bread Mix (similar to Pumpernickel), but I think I'm going to order CranRaisAppWalnut bread and cornbread from Sally's GF Bakery in Sandy Springs, GA.
• I also recommend ordering from THE SILLY YAK Bakery here.  They ship from Wisconsin.  Feeling gutsy? How about trying a gluten free bread bowl recipe, here.
• Yams- regular recipe, with brown sugar, butter, and marshmallows- naturally gluten free!
• Click here for a link to gluten free flour blends you can make yourself, or try Better Batter, GF Bisquick, or Pamela's Baking Mix.  Be mindful of whether or not it already includes baking powder and xanthan gum/guar gum.
• Green Beans- I like them with slivered almonds, but my Midwestern mom loves that green bean casserole, so I did by a gravy packet from a guy at the gf expo, his website is here.  I also liked the sample he had of sausage gravy (like for breakfast), yum!  
• Corn Pudding:  Combine and mix:  14 oz can creamed corn, 2 eggs (lightly beaten), 1 c evap milk, 1/4 c sugar, 2 and 1/2 c GF flour blend, 2 tbsp butter, salt to taste (add a can of drained corn if you wish).  Pour into 1.5 qt casserole dish or 8x8 square dish. Bake @350 for 50 min. Serves 6
• Mashed potatoes- a la Gordon Ramsey, using a potato ricer, hot milk, whipping over heat.
• Gluten free Gravy- in the past I've used drippings with corn starch, but this year I'm using the packet I bought at the gf expo (see link under green beans).
• Appetizers: olive/relish tray, brie cheese and Trader Joe's rice crackers, crudite with pumpkin hummus recipe here.



pumpkin muffins I made- flavorful and MOIST, although not "quick & easy" as recipe describes

• Desserts:  Here is the BEST moist pumkin muffin recipe (although not all that simple- you have to let the batter "rest", for example). Gluten Free Hello Dolly Bars (my mom just subs gf ingredients, but there is a recipe in the 2011 Delight GF Magazine, Apple Cranberry Crisp (remember to omit the gf flour the recipes call for- texture is like sand! I use gf oats and gf graham crumbs), Vitamix pumpkin cake (sub gf flours), and ***BEST Gluten free Chocolate cream pie with BEST PIE CRUST-  gf graham crumb crust- just substitute S'morables gf graham crackers-  and mix w/melted butter like a regular graham cracker crust.  I get them at SUper Target or WHole Foods. Click here for a version of Betty Hagman's pie crust.  Some Whole Foods Markets sell pre-made pie crusts.   
• Remember to use Aluminum-Free Baking Powder for your baking this year, to avoid a metallic aftertaste.  I get it at Trader Joe's along with alcohol-free vanilla extract and real vanilla beans- did you know vanilla comes from orchids?  
• Drinks:  Rhubarb wine, water, apple cider, soda, milk, and PUMPKIN LATTEs with VitaMix!
• Ask guests to bring: Drinks, flowers, cranberry sauce, crudite, cool whip, ice cream, yams, gr.beans, or hummus.  Explain about cc.
• Now, this won't work for everyone.  My stepdad and mom are coming from FL for the holiday weekend, but they will be dining out for Thanksgiving, choosing to opt-out of a gf dinner.  My stepdad is a stickler for tradition and a control freak.  He's also unable to stay at other people's homes, always in a hotel.  Hopefully he remembers his blood pressure meds this year (to see what happened when he didn't one year, click here).
• If you're traveling, you can order travel sized dressings and soy sauce packets here.
• I'm also hosting my first Halloween Party.  Here is the list of gluten free Halloween treats I'll be serving.