Saturday, February 11, 2012

Be My Gluten Free Valentine

First things first:  Here is the link to a good list of gluten free Valentine Candy.  This site also has a blog with weekly gluten free menu planning with recipe links!  They eat way too much chicken for me, but if you like chicken, you'll love it!  If you want to try your hand at gluten free Valentine treat recipes, look here.

Now, it is time to reminisce on how being gluten free has affected Valentine's Days in the past:

A guy I was dating returned from a bowling tournament in Las Vegas (it was only a 3 hour drive from my CA house, so not a big-deal trip) and brought me a tank top and Godiva chocolate-covered strawberries for an early Valentine's Day prelude to romance.  Well, Godiva has is not gluten free (see link here for explanation), so you should've seen this poor guy's face fall when I hemmed and hawed and finally revealed that I could not eat them.

A former boyfriend (the code writer) took me on a double date to a fancy steak house and, much to my chagrin, my steak was served to me teetering atop a giant SLAB of bread!  The waiter informed us it was a CROUTON.  The waiter told us if we sent it back, the $40 steak would come out of his paycheck, and since I was starving, embarrassed, and only a few months "in" to the celiac lifestyle, I ate the steak and got extreeeeemely sick.  My boyfriend was very nurturing to me that night, but I think romance was NIXED.

Before I was gluten free, a unique, funny guy I was dating in the late '90s owned his own online candy warehouse and sent me a big box full of Chupa Chups (lollypops), champagne gummy candies, and other unique items.  The funny part (which has nothing to do with being gluten free) was that he included a photo of ONLY his arm--in the "muscle" pose--with a giant patch of long, grizzly hair sticking out from his armpit, that he probably didn't realize was the focal point.  My girlfriends and I laughed and laughed!  I kept that pic for years, but once when I was away visiting my family, my "wasband" and evil ex-sister-in-law went in my filing cabinet (this is before we were even married) and threw away all of my old photos and love letters.

Last year, when we lived in the D.C. area, my boyfriend took me to a majority-gluten free restaurant, Lilit Cafe, where I devoured fantastic gluten free crab cakes, a savory Italian sub sandwich with Boar's Head cheese, and peanut butter cupcake-- so much that I got sick.  (Probably all those parts per million add up, or all the dairy, or whatnot).

This Valentine's Day I bought my boyfriend a camouflage heart filled with chocolates, Twix Valentine heart, and Spam (just for the surprise factor).  I will also give him a card and maybe a sweatshirt he has been eyeing but too cheap to purchase for himself.

What I hope to receive (he doesn't read my blog, as far as I know, and if he does- BONUS!)are:
  • See's chocolates--(second place would be Ghirardelli, or Russel Stover) .  
  • Flowers- preferably my favorite- but since he's never asked what my favorites are, he usually gets me roses or tulips, which is still nice and I appreciate them.  
  • Plane tickets or jewelry, although I won't hold my breath on these items.  Remember, this is the guy who mailed me toothpicks when he was gone overseas (he's active-duty military), bath balls when I didn't have a bathtub, a costume jewelry type necklace set that was so cheap the stone had fallen out, so imagine what it looked like when I opened the box!- and this year for Xmas he got me the SAME BOOK his mother got me last year for Xmas that I had told him I didn't like and didn't finish.

Click here to read a LIST of the HORRIBLE and HILARIOUS gifts I received as an elementary school teacher in the ghetto and in general.

To The Major's credit, he gives me lots of stuff in general (no pun intended) that are not for gifts or holidays, but my fave gifts have been leggings and shopping sprees...where I pick it out and he pays. 

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